


On the run

by apicturewithasmile



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: F/M, post-Tom Connolly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-01 08:43:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4013170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apicturewithasmile/pseuds/apicturewithasmile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Red and Lizzie are on the run and spend the first night at a cabin which holds more memories than Lizzie realises at first...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Candlelit Bedroom

“It’s not exactly the most comfortable place but it’s safe for now.”, Red said, putting his suitcase and torchlight down. He walked straight ahead to a chest of drawers on the other side of the room from where he pulled out some candles and matches. It was obvious that he knew exactly where to look for it.

“No, it’s fine. Absolutely fine.”, Lizzie said and had a look around the little shack where Reddington had brought her. They’ve been driving north for hours until in some lifeless country lane Red told their driver to stop the car to let them get out. 

“We’ll walk from here!”, Red had said while taking the suitcases out of the trunk.

It was almost a two hour walk through the woods. They didn’t take roads and didn’t follow any paths, just walked through the thicket and by the time they got to the cabin it was already dark. Inside it looked like no one had been there for a long while. Dust had settled on top of the furniture and it was just as cold inside as it was outside.

“Of course you’re gonna have the bedroom.”, Red took the suitcase which Dembe had packed with some clothes for Lizzie and put it on the bed that was covered in plaid blankets. “There still seems to be some firewood by the stove to keep us warm enough for tonight. I’ll find some more tomorrow to get us by for a couple of days.”

“What is this place?”, Lizzie asked, still standing in the middle of the front room which was living room and kitchen at the same time.

Red smiled. “You don’t remember?”

Liz shook her head and had a second look trying to remember whatever there was to remember.

“This is where you first met Sam.”, Red told her while he put a couple of wood logs into the old stove and tried to light a fire with matches and a piece of paper he found in his pocket.

Lizzie’s eyes widened and her legs began to weaken so she said down on the small old couch in the corner of the room. She closed her eyes and tried hard to remember but she couldn’t; she was too tired and exhausted.

“I’m sure it’ll come back to you, when time is ripe.”, Red said with a mellow tone and it was clear to Lizzie that he, too, needed rest. “But I can assure you this place is safe. Nothing will trace this place to us.”

Lizzie nodded because she knew she could trust him; because she wanted him to know that she trusted him. 

“You should try to get some sleep. There should be more blankets in the cupboard.”, Red went over to the kitchen area and opened the door of a little cabinet from which he pulled out two white bed sheets.

“Thanks.”, Liz whispered and took the sheets he was handing her. “Where are you gonna sleep?”

Red’s look wandered towards the couch which was merely big enough for two people to sit on.

“No way! This bed is big enough for the two of us, Red.”

He opened his mouth but couldn’t find the right words. She made him speechless once again. Just as he regained his ability to speak he lost it again when Liz reached out to hold his hand and pull him into the bedroom.

She sat down on the edge of the bed. Red kept standing in the doorway looking at her in disbelief while she was taking her shoes and blazer off. Liz pulled the blankets over and got into the bed, then covered her legs and looked at Red who still didn’t move one inch.

“Are you gonna stand there all night, Red?”

He didn’t answer but walked back to blow out all candles except one which he took with him into the bedroom. He closed the door behind him and put the candle on a little nightstand next to Lizzie’s side of the bed.

While he walked around to the other side of the bed Liz took her bra off underneath her blouse and let it fall to the floor. The candlelight flickered and threw weird shadows on the walls of the small room with every movement each of them made.

He sat down on the bed and opened his shoe laces with one hand, loosening his tie with the other. As he unbuttoned the upper few buttons of his shirt he revealed a band-aid that covered his neck.

“The chip. I completely forgot about that.”, Lizzie said.

“I had Mr. Kaplan remove it yesterday. It’s currently on a plane to Cuba.” He got underneath the blankets and sheets and looked up at the ceiling. “That will keep the FBI busy for a couple of hours until they realise they’ve been hunting down a Yorkshire terrier.”

“Can I ask you something?”, Lizzie said, tucking herself in as well but not taking her eyes off of Red.

“Of course.” Red swallowed and turned around to face her. He was afraid she wanted him to tell her more about her father and what had happened that night, which would only hurt her more and that was the last thing he wanted to do. 

“What’s the name of your cat? And please tell me someone’s taking care of it!”

It took him a couple of seconds to process this question until he started laughing. He felt so relieved. “Mr. Kaplan is taking care of him.” He still giggled a little but not at the question itself but about how normal this whole situation felt all of a sudden. “And his name is – promise you won’t laugh!”

“Promise.”

“It’s Mr. Catington.”

Liz tried to suppress her instinct to laugh by covering her mouth with one hand but it was impossible.

“You promised not to laugh!” Red said sitting up while beginning to laugh as well.

“You have to be joking!”

“I am not. And in my own defence: It wasn’t my idea. I wanted Chaplin but Dembe and Mr. Kaplan overruled me.”

“You are a weird trio, you know that, right?”

“We were.” His smile quickly faded and the tone of his voice went back to serious. “It’s just you and me now, Lizzie.” He wished he hadn’t said that but it was too late now. He couldn’t take it back; it had already spoiled the light-heartedness they felt moments before.

“It’s not gonna be like this forever, is it?”, Liz asked nearly voiceless.

“I’m sorry but I cannot promise you that.” Red didn’t dare to look at her so he faced the ceiling again.

They were both quiet for a minute until it was Liz who broke the silence. “Just so you know, I don’t regret it.”

“Don’t regret what?” Red struggled for a second but then looked her in the eyes.

“Running away with you.”, she said and closed her eyes. “Good night, Raymond.”

“Good night, Lizzie.”, he said but she was already sleeping. And -careful not to touch her- Red leaned over her to blow out the candle and go to sleep as well.


	2. Miles From Nowhere

When Lizzie woke up she found herself alone in the bed. The side where Red had slept was empty and cold.

 “Red?”

 No one answered so she decided to slip into her shoes and check the front room. She wrapped herself in a blanket because even with the oven on it was still chilly. Part of her was expecting Red to stand by the oven trying to make something that would almost resemble a decent breakfast but when she opened the bedroom door and took a step into the front room there was no one there.

 “Red?”, she said a little louder this time.

Still there was no answer. That’s when she began to worry. She went back into the bedroom and grabbed the gun Red had given her the day before.

 “I know I said that we were safe here but take this just in case.”, he had said.

 Lizzie went outside and, holding steady to the gun in her hand, she slowly walked round the cabin only to find there was no one there.

 She was just about to get back in when she heard something rustling in the woods behind the cabin. She turned around while drawing her gun and preparing for the worst.

 “Who is this?”, she yelled into the forest.

 “I think it’s just a squirrel to be honest.”

 Lizzie’s heart pounded heavily in her chest and she didn’t even relax when she finally realised it was Red who was standing behind her. She turned around and tried to catch her breath by putting a hand on her chest.

 “You scared me to death, Reddington!”

 Red smiled and tried to comfort her by putting a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

 “Where the hell have you been?”

 He pointed at two canisters that stood on the porch. “I got some water. Didn’t you read the note I left on the table?”

 “No, I didn’t!”, Liz said madly and walked back inside the cabin.

 He went after her and brought the water canisters inside. “There’s a little stream about 15 minute walk to the north. I’m really sorry. I didn’t wanna wake you up, you looked so…”

 “So what?”

 “Peaceful.”

 Liz sat down on the tiny couch and saw the note on the table. “Good morning! Don’t worry. I’ll be back in a minute. R.” it read.

 Red was opening his suitcase and took out about half a dozen of cans. “Are you mad at me?”

 “No! I just…. I was worried.”

 Red sighed and bit his lip. “Well, I am back now and I don’t know about you but I am starving. Breakfast?”

 “God, yes!”

 “You have the choice between ravioli and-”, he held one of the cans a little closer to his face because he didn’t wear his contact lenses. “-and potato stew.”

 Liz couldn’t care less at this point so she just made an indifferent gesture.

 “Potato stew it is then!” Red took a can opener from the chest of drawers and again it was obvious he had been there before because he knew exactly in which drawer to look for it.

 They didn’t talk while Red was preparing their breakfast but when they sat down at the kitchen table he could not stand the silence any longer. “We have enough food for about a week but I hope we won’t be here that long. I don’t want us to end up eating our shoes like in that Chaplin movie.”, Red said and added a little laugh but Liz didn’t know which movie he was referring to so she just nodded and took a spoonful of the potato stew. It tasted of nothing but she was hungry enough to quickly finish her portion and get a refill.

 Red pulled a phone out of his pocket and put it on the table. “Lizzie, if this rings and I can’t answer it for whatever reasons you need to pick up and do _exactly_ as the person on the phone tells you. Do you understand?”

 “Yes.”, she said standing up from the table. “I think I’ll have a walk to that stream and clean up a little.”

 “Be careful.” Red said when Liz was already outside the cabin. When a few moments later he realised she had left the gun on the couch he came after her and placed the gun in her hand. “Just in case.”, he said and walked back in.

 “Just in case.”, she repeated his words and kept her eyes fixed on him until he vanished into the cabin and closed the door.

 When Liz came to the stream a feeling of familiarity lingered upon her. Red had told her she’s been here before as a child but it wasn’t until she put her feet into the cold water that she remembered that night; the night she met Sam. Images, words, voices came back to her all at once and it was too overwhelming. She covered her face with water and sat down leaning against a tree and tried to piece the puzzle together.


	3. Born To Run

_“Are you crazy to show up here, Raymond? With her?”_

_“I didn’t know where else to go, Sam! I need your help!”_

_“You do realise that it’s your fault that I’ve been hiding here for weeks, right!?”_

_“Shhh, will you be quiet, please, you’ll wake her up with your yelling.” Red whispered, walking up and down the room, trying to make sense of it all. “I know it’s my fault. I’m sorry, I… I’ve been trying to make all if this go away, believe me, but it’s too far over my head, Sam. I can’t control it anymore.”_

_“I told you. I told you, you shouldn’t get yourself tangled up in this mess. These people are dangerous! I mean… look what they’ve done to you! And that little girl, I mean. Who is she? Where are her parents?”_

_“The less you know, the better. Please, take care of her. I know you can do that! I wouldn’t ask if I had any other option.”, Red took his hat off and teared his hair when suddenly he heard a rumbling noise from the bedroom._

_“Elizabeth?”, he opened the bedroom door and first saw the empty bed and then the open window. “Lizzie!”_

_He ran out of the cabin as quickly as he could even if he didn’t know in which direction she went. He kept yelling her name, saying that she didn’t have to be afraid, but there was no reaction. He didn’t stop running; he was exhausted, he was in pain but he would run as far as his feet carried him to find her. This poor child got dragged into the business of her parents and Red was not gonna let her innocent soul be tainted by the mistakes others had made._

_Suddenly -in the corner of his eye- he saw a movement. A flickering reflection. An instinct led him to the water where Lizzie was standing still._

_“Lizzie!”, he said out of breath when he saw her on the other side of the stream. Her nightgown was soaking wet and she was holding her stuffed bunny close to her chest._

_“Lizzie, it’s me. Do you remember me? You don’t have to be afraid.” Raymond didn’t want to scare her off again so he kept his distance. When he heard Sam approaching from behind him he turned around and gestured him to stay away._

_“This is Sam. He’s a very nice man, Elizabeth. You can trust us. Okay? You know who I am, don’t you?”_

_“Raymond?”, she said coyly, hiding her face behind the stuffed toy._

_“Exactly. Lizzie, do you promise not to run away when I come over now?”_

_She nodded so Raymond crossed the stream with big steps causing his trouser legs to soak with ice cold water all the way up to his knees. He reached out to Lizzie offering her to hold his hand, and she took it._

_“I’m gonna pick you up now if that’s okay with you.”_

_Lizzie nodded and when he picked her up to carry her across the stream and back to the cabin she was shivering. She wrapped her arms around his neck causing his wounds to tear open again and hurt even more but he didn’t complain. He needed to know she trusted him and this was the best sign she did._

_Back in the cabin he sat her down on the couch. He took off his hoodie jacket and gave it to her. “Do you maybe wanna get out of your nightie and put this on, Lizzie?”_

_She didn’t react, just stared at the bunny that was resting in her lap._

_“It’s okay. You don’t have to. But at least let me put that over your shoulders, okay? It’ll keep you warm.” He wrapped her in it and sat down on the floor opposite of her. “You’re going to have to stay with Sam for a while.”_

_“Where is my mommy? I want to go to my mommy!, she whispered and began to cry._

_Red took a deep breath. “I don’t know where your mommy is. Not yet. But I will find out. I promise. And then I will bring you to her but until then I need you to stay with Sam, do you understand? So I can find your mommy.”_

_Red stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. “Do you understand this, Lizzie?”_

_“Yes!”_

_“And do you promise not to run away again?”_

_A tear landed on his hand._

_“I promise.”, she said._


	4. Don't Give Up

 “Lizzie! Here you are.” Red’s relief didn’t last long for he soon realised Liz was cowering on the ground, crying and shaking.

She felt like she couldn’t breathe and her heart was about to burst; completely powerless to all the abstract memories raining down on her. No, it wasn’t just rain. It was a hail; a hail storm of emotions and angst was the strongest of them all.

 “Lizzie, can you hear me?”, Red sat down next to her and pulled her a strand of hair out of her face. “What happened?”

 She didn’t look at him though her swollen eyes were wide open and instead of saying something she began gasping. He took her in his arms and she caved in to his touch which helped her to calm down a little.

 “Lizzie! Lizzie, look at me. I’m here! It’s me! Everything’s gonna be okay.” He took his jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders as her lips were beginning to quiver. “I’m gonna bring you back to the cabin now, okay?”

 She was still in a state of shock but managed to nod in agreement. He picked her up and she swung her arms around his neck so it was easier for him to carry her.

 When they finally arrived in the cabin he laid her down on the bed and brought her a glass of water. “Here, drink this!”, he said but she refused to take the glass so he put it on the night stand.

 “Do you wanna talk about what happened?”

 Liz shook her head. She wasn’t even sure what is was she remembered and whether she could trust her memories. Everything seemed like a blur. She remembered waking up from their voices. Arguing. She remembered climbing out of the window but how she got to the stream was a mystery for her. She remembered that everything was cold and wet. Raymond. He was there. He’s always been there.

 “Is there anything I can do for you?” Red was desperate to help her and make her feel better but he just didn’t know how.

 “Stay here.”, she whispered.

 Red tucked her in with one of the many plaid blankets and then laid down next to her. He gently pet her head and occasionally talked to her so she knew he was still there. It slowly made her calm down and she felt save again in his company. Liz tried to forget about all the disturbing events of the past two days and eventually they both fell asleep.

 It was noon when Liz woke up. Red was still sleeping next to her. She stayed with him for a while before she stood up being as quiet as possible because she didn’t want to wake him. She left the bedroom door open though because hearing him breathe and even snore a little every now and then gave her comfort.

 In a desperate attempt to distract herself from her memories she tried solving one of his crossword puzzles but it wasn’t easy to concentrate.

 About half an hour later Red opened his eyes and sat up. “Hey there.”, he said leaning to his left a little so he could look through the doorway and see Liz who was still hovering over the crossword, nibbling on the end of the pen.

 “Oh, hey.”

 Red stood up and with an age old instinct straightened his hair once again realising there wasn’t much left to straighten. “Do you feel better?”

 “A bit.”

 “I began to worry when you didn’t come back after a while so I came looking for you.”

 She put on a slight smile. “Thanks.”

 “If you feel like telling me what happened I’m ready to listen but…”, he hesitated a moment to find the right words.

 “I don’t think I can do this, Red.”, she interrupted his thoughts.

 “Yes, I was just going to say, you don’t have to talk about it.”

 “That’s not what I meant. I….. I don’t think I can do _this_.” Liz’s eyes began to water. “All of this. I can’t keep running away forever. It’s only 24 hours and I’m already driving insane.”

 She buried her face in her hands and it broke his heart to see her like this. But he knew she was stronger than she thought she was.

 He sat down next to her and put his hand on her knee. “You’re not insane, Lizzie. There’s a lot for you to process and right now it feels like it’s all too much. But it’s gonna get better. I…. I am sorry. I shouldn’t have brought you here. This place holds too many memories.”

 She shook her head as if to gesture that it wasn’t his fault. “My mother.”, she said under her breath while wiping tears off her face.

 “What about your mother?”

 “You said you were gonna find her!”

 The look on Red’s face turned into stone and her words weighed heavy on his chest.

 “That’s what you said to me the night you brought me here. That I had to stay with Sam so you could go and find my mother and bring me to her.”

 Red swallowed. He had hoped so hard she would not remember that promise he had given her; that _one_ promise he couldn’t keep. He had completely failed to keep her away from all of this and it made him feel so inexplicably useless.

 “Did you find her?”

 He closed his eyes and pressed his lips together in a futile attempt to suppress the tears that were beginning to swell in his eyes. His mouth formed the word “No.” but his voice was dead.

 “That’s why I stayed with Sam.”

 Red nodded. “I was searching for her for three years, but...” He felt his voice was about to break so he stopped talking.

 “You told me she died of weakness and shame.”

 He tried to pull himself together. There was no going back now from telling the painful yet inevitable truth.

 “After three years I… followed a lead to Moscow. Someone told me they knew someone… who knew someone who had seen her there. But when I got there…”

 Liz could sense the tension building up inside him. He spoke slowly, thinking twice before each word he said.

 “Did she kill herself?” Liz did not take her eyes off his lips.

 He didn’t say a thing and he didn’t have to. She knew she was right. She could see it in his eyes.

 “I’m so sorry, Lizzie.”, he managed to say while being too shattered to look at her.

 Liz hesitated for a second but then she rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. The fact that she would still want to be close to him - after the ordeal she’s been through because of him - paralysed Red but he also realised he needed comfort as well so he leaned his head against hers and all of the tension, the anger and fear slowly faded away.


	5. Heart Of Gold

Four days had passed since they arrived at the cabin. They spend a day not talking at all; a day talking about everything they never talked about but always wanted to. He told her about his favourite movies, re-enacting the funniest scenes. They even solved crosswords together.

 She asked him about his mother; what she was like; how he knew her. He hardly did know Katerina but he told Liz everything he could tell her; that Katerina loved her daughter more than anything; that she would have done everything to keep little Masha safe; how she got herself tangled up in the business of the Cabal just like Red had done.

 When the Cabal took her and made her believe that her daughter died in the fire she could not live with the guilt of having put her own child in such danger and took her own life.

 

_“Katerina?”, Raymond ran up the stairs. He had promised to let her try and solve this problem on her own – it was more personal for her than it was for him at this point. The man she had once trusted the most betrayed her and took her daughter away from her. She needed to talk to him alone. She wanted to reason with him. Red had been waiting outside but now he regretted letting her go in there alone. He should have been more careful. They’ve been underestimating the Cabal’s powers for quite a while._

_“What happened? I heard a gunshot. What happened?” He entered the bedroom and saw the lifeless body, blood covering the floor. Katerina stared at the other side of the room and Red followed her line of sight. Her daughter was standing there, looking at the gun that was lying on the ground in front of her._

_Red realised immediately what must have happened and turned to Katerina. “We must go! Now, Katerina! NOW!”, he yelled at her._

_“No... No… Raymond. We can’t… what are we gonna do with him? They’re about to come here! They’re on their way! If they find him…”_

_“Don’t worry. Do you know where it is? Do you have it? The Fulcrum, Katerina! Do you have it?”_

_“No. I don’t know. He told me it wasn’t here but...”, she felt like she was about to faint so she said down._

_Red knew he had to take control over the situation because Katerina was in shock. “Hey sweetie.”, he said walking over to the girl who still didn’t move an inch. It seemed like she hadn’t yet realised what she had done. “Hello, darling. I’m Raymond. What’s your name?”_

_“Elizabeth.”_

_“No. No. It’s Masha.”, Katerina said, running over to her daughter and holding her tight. “Don’t you remember? Masha?”_

_That was when they heard the footsteps on the staircase. Red picked Lizzie up and brought her to the closet. He opened the door and sat her down inside. “Listen, Masha… Elizabeth. I need you to be quiet, okay? We’re gonna play a little game now. You’re gonna stay in here and be very, very still until I come and get you.” Lizzie nodded._

_Just when he closed the door two men entered the bedroom. One of them immediately grabbed Katerina and held her mouth shut. She tried to fight him off but soon realised he was too strong for her._

_In the corner of his eye Red saw the gun that was still lying on the floor. He made a quick move to pick it up but the second man kicked it away. The little hope Red had left was blown away when he felt something hard hitting his head and then the liquid warmth bleeding down his neck._

_He didn’t know how much time had passed but when he regained his consciousness all he could see were flames. Everywhere. As he was trying to stand up he felt a tantalising pain in his back. He was still dizzy and could hardly breathe. In fact every breath he took was more of an agonising cough._

_His instincts told him to run but he wouldn’t leave without her. The girl. Where was she? Everything hurt and he could hardly see where he was going. He made his way to the other side of the room until he found the closet. When he opened the door she was cowering on the floor, her arms wrapped around her legs._

_He picked her up and tried to think of a way to escape when Lizzie began to squirm._

_“My bunny!”, she yelled and jumped out of Red’s arms. He tried to get hold of her but the pain was too strong. She ran to her stuffed bunny and picked it up only to let it fall back to the ground with a loud scream. The smouldering fabric had left a burn on her hand and she began to cry._

_Red pulled his strength together and picked her and the bunny up. The next few minutes went by in a blur. He ran down the stairs with her and out of the house where he fell down and must have passed out again._

_“Raymond. Raymond.” He heard her little voice close to his ear. “Wake up. Raymond!”_

_He needed a few minutes to catch his breath but when he heard the sound of approaching ambulances and fire engines he knew he couldn’t stay there. He needed the Cabal to believe no one survived the fire for as long as possible so he got into his car with Elizabeth and took her home with him._

When Liz realised that it was Red who saved her from the fire she stopped asking him about that night for a while. He did answer every one of her question until then but she began to understand that remembering what had happened was painful for him, too.

 For the past two years she had thought that all of his actions belonged to a bigger plan but now she knew that every decision he had made in that fateful night and in the weeks and months after was made out of guilt and fear. And most of all out of love to his family.

 The fear of losing his wife and daughter became so powerful that eventually he decided to make the biggest sacrifice of his life by leaving them behind in order to keep them save. What had happened at Christmas eve to trigger his disappearance – Lizzie didn’t dare to ask. She didn’t want to put him through the pain of reliving it. Though she was sure he relived it every day of his life because no one had been there to block _his_ memories of the pain he had to endure.


	6. Somewhere Only We Know

It was the fifth day when even the tasteless potato stew began tasting horrible. All crossword puzzles had been solved and they both were in desperate need of a shower.

 Red was stroking the grey stubble on his cheeks. “I’m beginning to look like a lumberjack with that beard.”

 Lizzie laughed. “How about Mr. Lumberjack tries to find some wood? We don’t have anything left for the oven.”

 It pleased him to see that Lizzie finally got her humour back and he did as he was ordered. Only a minute after he went outside the phone started ringing. Liz jumped up from the couch and ran to the phone which was lying on the nightstand in the bedroom.

 “Hello?”

 “Who is this?”, a female voice on the phone asked.

 “I was just going to ask the same question.”

 There was a silence for a few seconds until Lizzie realised that it was _her_ who needed help so she should probably give the mystery caller something to work with. “I’m answering on behalf of Raymond Reddington.”

 She heard a faint laugh. “You’re Elizabeth Keen. I knew it. That bastard. Where is he?”

 “Who are you?”, Liz asked again. The voice sounded familiar but she couldn’t figure it out.

 Red had heard Liz speak so he came back inside and took the phone away from her.

 “When?” was all he said. Liz couldn’t hear the woman on the phone answer. Then after a few seconds he hung up. “Pack your things, Lizzie.”, he said. “We’re going to upgrade to a more comfortable accommodation!”

 They packed their few things and made sure the cabin looked as untouched as the day they arrived. Then they walked through the woods until they reached a road.

 They waited for a couple of minutes until in the distance Liz could see a car driving towards them. It stopped a few yards away from where Red and Liz were standing. The door opened and out stepped a woman.

 “Maddie, my dear. I didn’t think you’d come to give us a ride personally.”, Red said putting his suitcase down and opening his arms to embrace Madeline Pratt.

 “Oh God, you smell like you’ve been living in the woods for a week.”, Madeline said and gestured that she’d pass on a hug.

 “Don’t be so fussy. It’s only been five days.”

 “Are you serious?”, Liz said in a tone that swayed somewhere between disbelief and anger.

 Red walked over to her and tilted his head. “What is it, Elizabeth?”

 “Her? Of all people?”, Liz tried to disguise her voice as a whisper but still spoke loud enough so Madeline would hear her. “You really expect me to trust this person?”

 “I don’t _expect_ you to do anything, Lizzie. But you _can_ trust _me_! And I know I can trust Madeline.”

 “With all the history the two of you have?”

 “It is exactly _because_ of our history that I trust her.” Red tried to sound mellow, he couldn’t force Liz to trust him but he hoped she’d understand that he wouldn’t do anything that could put her into danger.

 “She sold you out to the King family, Red!”

 “And I sold her out to the FBI! Now, do you really want to start a discussion about which is worse?”

 Liz took a deep breath. She knew she didn’t have another choice and even though she didn’t like Pratt at all, she knew she could trust Raymond so she would just have to believe him.

 “Now, are you coming with me or not?”, Madeline yelled over to them. “…because if you prefer to stay in the woods, I might still make it home in time for my show.”

 Liz didn’t answer, just picked up her suitcase and put it into the trunk and sat down on the rear bench.

 “I guess that means yes.”, Red said to Madeline and they both got in the car as well.

 While Red and Madeline kept making small talk, Liz didn’t say a word for the first hour of their road trip.

 “Where are we going, anyway?”, she eventually said when she realised that it was once again impossible for her to be mad at Red.

 “Toronto.”, he said.

 “I know some people at the Canadian border who won’t ask questions.”, Madeline added looking at Liz through the rear view mirror. “Well, unless we run into the wrong people. In that case we’re a fugitive jackpot.”

 Red couldn’t help but laugh at this and it actually put a smile on Lizzie’s face as well.

* * *

 

“Oh my God, Madeline, bless you!”, Red said when he entered the apartment she had organised for them.

 “I hope it’s good enough for you.”, she said.

 He was walking up and down the corridor, opening and closing each door at a time to get a good overview of the flat. “Seriously, anything is better than that nasty cabin. Two bedrooms, Lizzie! Seems like you don’t have to endure my snoring anymore.”

 Liz smiled and put her suitcase on the sofa.

 “There are some fresh clothes for both of you on the beds. I know Raymond’s will fit but I wasn’t sure about your size, Elizabeth. I had to guess.”, Madeline said and just then turned to look at Lizzie. “And I made sure there are enough lady products in the bathroom in case you need some.”

 “Bathroom!”, Lizzie had almost forgotten how much she needed one. She immediately ran down the corridor and vanished into the bathroom.

 “We have a bathtub!”, she yelled from the other side of the apartment and ran back into the living room. “Raymond. Did you hear? We have a bathtub?”

 “Yes, Lizzie, I heard you. That’s wonderful.”

 “And you should both make use of it as soon as possible!”, Madeline said with all possible sassiness and opened the apartment door. “I’ll be back in an hour and I expect this apartment to smell of soap and aftershave.”

 “Yes, mom!”, Red said but Madeline was already outside.

* * *

 

 

Liz was sitting on the sofa in a plaid pyjama and tried not to care too much when Red walked past her in just a bathrobe to open the door for Madeline.

 “This is a lot better!”, Liz heard Madeline’s voice from the corridor.

 “Do I get my hug now?”

 Liz rolled her eyes and instantly was glad no one was there to see it.

 Red and Madeline entered the living room, she was carrying a silver metal suitcase. He sat down next to Lizzie and Madeline put the suitcase on the coffee table and opened it. “A house warming gift from Mr. Kaplan.”, she said and turned the open suitcase around so Red and Liz could see its content.

 “That’s at least five hundred thousand dollars in there!”, Liz said.

 “It’s _exactly_ five hundred thousand dollars!”, Red said with a huge smile and closed the suitcase.

 “If there’s anything else you need–”, Madeline took an examine look of the two and sighed. “–bother someone else with it!”

 Red stood up again and walked around the coffee table to hug Madeline goodbye. “Thanks again. I’ll make up for it one day.”, he said.

 “Oh, you most certainly will.”, Madeline said with a cheeky grin on her face. “Goodbye, Elizabeth, and good luck.”

 “Bye. And… thanks.” Liz was honestly thankful yet still hoped Madeline would disappear rather sooner than later.

 “Take good care of _this_.”, Madeline added and pointed at Red.

 “Goodbye, Maddie!”, Red said with persistence and -with a little push- led her towards the corridor.

 When he came back into the living room he sat back down next to Lizzie.

 “So it’s just you and me again.”, she said and she enjoyed it.


	7. Fair Game

It was surprising to Lizzie how quickly she got used to sleeping next to Red. Now that she was lying in bed alone it felt like something was missing. She tried to fall asleep for an hour until she decided to get up and check if Pratt had left something in the fridge for a midnight snack.

 When she left her bedroom she could already see a shimmer of light coming from the kitchen. Through the half open kitchen door she saw Red standing in front of the open fridge which was the only source of light in the room.

 “Anything eatable in there?”, she said entering the kitchen.

 Red turned around quickly. “Oh my… you just gave me the creeps.”

 Lizzie laughed. “Sorry. What’s keeping _you_ up?”

 “Insomnia.”, he said and turned to look inside the fridge again. “I’ve been standing in front of this for about five minutes now and I’m having an identity crisis here, Lizzie. I honestly can’t decide whether I prefer the chocolate or the vanilla pudding.”

 “I take vanilla!”

 “Thanks. That makes it easier.”, Red said while looking for two spoons in the chest of drawers next to the fridge.

 They went to sit on the sofa in the living room.

 “How about you?”, Red asked taking a spoonful of the chocolate pudding immediately regretting he didn’t choose vanilla. “Why are you still up?”

 Liz didn’t feel comfortable telling him that she’d rather not sleep alone so she tried to change the topic completely ignoring his question. “You wanna swap? I don’t know why I chose vanilla. I never really liked it.”

 Red nodded eagerly and Liz had to smile over how much he sometimes acted like a little boy.

 They sat quietly for a while. When Liz was about to go back to her bedroom Red reached out for her hand. “Lizzie!”

 She sat down again, still holding his hand, her eyes fixed on his lips. “Yes?”

 “I… I don’t know if this is completely inappropriate or… awkward… But I am afraid I can’t fall asleep on my own.”

 Lizzie squeezed his hand gently. “Me neither.”

* * *

 

 

“I didn’t dare to ask earlier-”, Liz said before taking a bite from the bagel Red had brought her for breakfast. “-but do we actually have a plan?”

 “I’ll talk some of my former associates here. People who can get us on a plane.”, he said.

 “If they’re _former_ associates how do you know they’re willing to help us?”

 Red pointed at the silver suitcase which was standing on the kitchen counter.

 “Oh right.”, Liz said. “And where are we going to find these associates?”

 “ _I_ am going to find them. _You_ are going to stay here!”, Red said and stood up from his chair and grabbed the suitcase.

 “No way!”, Liz said. “I am not going to sit here doing nothing.”

 “Lizzie. I understand you want to be in control of things. But the less you get involved in my… in my business, the better.”

 Liz felt like he thought she wasn’t strong enough to come with him. “You’re not going without me, Red! We’re in this together!”

 “You do realise your face has been on every news channel every day of the past week, don’t you?”

 “Red, I’m only going to say this once so listen carefully.” Liz came closer so she was standing right in front of him. “We can either do this together-”, Red opened his mouth to interrupt her but she places her index finger on his lips to shut him up. She then reached for the suitcase in his hand and he was so startled by her behaviour that he willingly handed it over to her. “-or I’m gonna do this on my own.”

 Red swallowed. He knew he couldn’t force Lizzie to accept his help. But he wanted to help her. More than that: He needed it.

 Liz grabbed her jacket and left him standing there. “Are you coming?”, she yelled from the corridor.

 “Absolutely.”

* * *

 

“Hello Robin!”, Red sad when he entered the little corner shop he and Lizzie had been observing for the past thirty minutes.

 “Hell-”, a little man in his mid-forties with tousled hair and crooked teeth stood behind the counter. “Reddington?”

 “Long time no see. How’s the dog?”, Red asked and put his hat on top of a stack of cornflakes boxes.

 “You really have the audacity to come here after what happened in Vancouver?”

 “Yes. I’m always good for a surprise, am I not, Robin?”, Red put his elbows on the counter and leaned over to be closer to Robin. “Let’s make this quick, shall we? I need your help.”

 “What on earth makes you believe I’d be willing to help you? After Vancouver?”

 “Oh, will you shut up about Vancouver, Rob! You had already left Lorraine, I just… comforted her.” Red straightened up and looked out of the display window. Liz was standing on the other side of the road holding the suitcase with the money. He beckoned her to come over with a little wave and turned back to face Robin. “Seriously though: How’s the dog?”

 “Is that who I think it is?”, Robin asked when Lizzie entered the shop.

 “It doesn’t matter who she is, Robin. At least not to you.”, Red said and took the suitcase from Liz. “I think the content of this could be of great interest to you. _Especially_ after the whole... Vancouver thing.”

 “Listen, Red, whatever it is-”

 “We need to get out of the country and as you already think you know who my companion is, I expect you to understand the urgency of the matter. Now can we please keep the old stories behind us and start talking business?” With a quick movement he put the suitcase in the counter, opened it and allowed Robin a glance at the money before he closed it again.

 “Even if I _wanted_ to help you – and I _don’t_ – I fear you came to the wrong guy because I’m not in the business anymore.”

 “But you know people who are.”, Liz said. She felt the need to be a more active part in these negotiations as it was easier to win if it was two against one.

 “Listen, lady!”, Robin said to her. “Give me one good reason not to call the FBI and collect the reward that’s on your head.”

 Liz sighed and calmly yet focussed pulled her gun out of its holster and pointed it at Robin. “No, you listen! As far as I am concerned you have two options. Option one: Take the money. Option two: Take the bullet.”

 Red’s mouth was open. It was almost an out-of-body experience for him to see Lizzie like this and it made him regret he had taken her with him. Every day she spent with him was a day she became more like him and that was everything he had always tried to prevent. But on the other hand he felt something very conflicting; something so strong that he couldn’t keep it to himself – he was proud of her.

 With a laugh he turned to Robin and shrugged his shoulders. “Tough choice, if you ask me!”

 Robin took a deep breath. “Oh, okay. Put the damn gun down. I’ll see what I can do! Give me a couple of days.”  
  
“Lovely!”, Red said tilting his head to the right. “You have 48 hours.”

 “Wait. I need to know a destination.”, Robin said.

 “Europe.”  
  
“You do know Europe has more than one country, right?”  
  
“Europe is precise enough for now.”, Red said and put on his hat. “See you soon.”

 After they had left the shop Red didn’t say a thing until they were in the car.

 “Lizzie, that was-”

 “Spare me the talk, please. I know I overreacted.”, she interrupted him.

 “No, I was actually going to say that was pretty bad ass.”

 When Liz realised what Red had just said they both began to laugh.

 “By the way: What happened in Vancouver?”, she asked.

 “Oh… nothing.”, he said and started the motor.


	8. Have Mercy On The Criminal

Author’s note: I have to interrupt your reading flow to warn you about several mentions of blood and violence in this chapter. Don’t want anyone to be triggered by anything here.

* * *

 

_The barking of their dog; Jennifer’s laughter; Carla giving him a sweet kiss – he didn’t expect anything less when he walked through the snow but those little things, the things he loved and had missed so much. The thought of that was all he needed to keep him going._

_When he finally reached the door and searched for the keys in his coat pocket he noticed the door was left ajar. Instinctively he knew something was wrong. Instead of pulling out his keys he went for the gun he had been carrying with him every day since the night Katerina vanished and he led the Cabal into believing that her daughter had died in the fire. He knew they soon learned he was alive but at least the girl was safe. Why they hadn’t come for him sooner he didn’t know. For a while he even began to hope they’d leave him be thinking he didn’t know anything._

_He slowly entered the hallway, carefully not making a noise. Everything seemed normal until he entered the kitchen. The floor was covered in blood. All there was, was blood. He swallowed, his hands started shaking but he somehow managed to pull himself together. He followed the blood trail to the dining room and prayed it wasn’t Carla’s or Jennifer’s._

_In the living room he saw a man lying face down on the floor who was seemingly the source of the blood. Red didn’t bother to check his pulse. He walked past him and in the corner of his eye noticed a movement in the living room._

_He released the safety of his gun and walked towards the living room. When he took a glance around the corner he almost caved in. The Christmas lights on the tree illuminated the walls of the room but instead of making it look romantic it added plain horror to the sight Red had to discover – Carla was tied to a chair not moving and Red hoped she was just unconscious._

_He walked over to her and held her head. “Carla? Can you hear me?”, he said quietly. Blood ran down her forehead but at least she was still breathing. Red was just beginning to untie her when he felt the cold barrel pressing against the back of his head._

_“Mr. Reddington. What a pleasure. Put that gun away, will you?”, a male voice said. Red didn’t recognise the voice. He put the gun on the floor and wanted to turn around but the man pressed the gun harder against his head and released the safety. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”, the man said._

_“Where is my daughter?”_

_“Oh don’t worry. Little Jenny is fast asleep in her room. What a pretty little girl you have, Ray. She looks just like her mother. I won’t hurt her. Your wife on the other hand… she really is a fighter – knocked out my associate with a lamp stand, so I fear I had to restrain her while I was waiting for you. Took you longer than expected to get here.”_

_“What do you want?”_

_“What I want, Ray, is for you to back off.”_

_“Leave my family alone and I’ll do that!”, Red said._

_Red felt the pressure of the gun lessen so he made another attempt at turning around very slowly and this time the man didn’t stop him._

_“Some of my colleagues think you’re not a real threat but I think you are. You are like that nasty sliver in my hand that just won’t come out: I try to ignore it but it just won’t stop itching.”_

_“I know you.”, Red said. “Your name is Alan Fitch.”_

_“If you know who I am then you probably also know who I am working for and why I am here.”, Fitch said and sat down on a chair, still pointing the gun at Red. “Let’s talk business.”_

_This was the moment when Red snapped. Ever since it happened he tried to figure out how his brain came up with this desperate yet ridiculous plan. “I don’t think you’re in any place to make demand, Mr. Fitch.”_

_Fitch sighed and now pointed the gun at Carla. “Am I not?”_

_“I have it.”, Red said quickly._

_“Have what?”_

_“The Fulcrum. Katerina Rostova told me where to find it before your people took her. It’s what you’re looking for, isn’t it?”_

_Fitch’s stare froze and Red could see that he took him off guard._

_“So, yeah. Let’s talk business, Alan.” Red sat down opposite of Fitch. “Here’s the deal: You leave. Now. And never come back! Or my people will release the compromising information I have against you and your organisation.”_

_Fitch needed a few seconds to regain his speech. “You’re bluffing!”_

_Red leaned over and got really close to Fitch’s face. “Want to take chances? You know that even the smallest sliver can cause a nasty sepsis, don’t you, Alan?”_

_Fitch swallowed and lowered his gun._

_“There we go.”, Red said. “Now let me tell you how this works. You go to your people – your boss, whoever it is you report to – and tell them to get the fuck out of my life! Understand?”_

_Red couldn’t be sure that Fitch actually believed him but it was too late now anyway. He couldn’t take back what he had said and by now his best chance to keep his family safe was to hope his bluff was convincing enough to at least buy him some time._

_After Fitch had left, Red untied Carla. She was regaining her consciousness when he carried her upstairs. “Raymond?”_

_“Shhh. It’s over. Everything’s over, Carla.”, he said, laid her down on their bed and kissed her on the forehead. He checked that her wound had stopped bleeding and told her that he loved her. Then he went to Jennifer’s room and saw her sleeping peacefully in her bed and gave her a kiss, too._

_When he walked downstairs again he burst into tears as he came to realise his family would never be safe enough. Even if Fitch was convinced Red had the Fulcrum it didn’t mean the rest of the Cabal would believe it as well. He decided there was only one thing he could do: Leave._

_But there was still a corpse in his dining room and blood everywhere. For a minute he thought about turning himself in; confessing to the police he had killed that man so it wouldn’t fall back in Carla. And if he was being charged with murder the Cabal might not see him as a threat anymore._

_He paced up and down the living room trying to piece things together when suddenly he remembered – the phone number. Katerina had given him a number he was supposed to call in case of an emergency. He didn’t even comprehend how he could have forgotten to call it after the night of the fire. But now he didn’t know any other way out._  
  
In his secret files and folders that he had hidden underneath the floor panel in the dining room he searched for it. Somewhere between the papers and photographs was the little card with the number. He ran to the phone and dialled it.

_“What’s your position?”, a female voice answered._

_“Hello?”_

_“Who is this?”_

_“I’m… I…” Red already regretted calling._

_“Who gave you this number?”, the woman asked with persistence._

_“Katerina Rostova.”_

_“Hello? Are you still there?”, Red asked. “I… She gave me your number to call in case of an emergency. She said I could trust you with anything. Well, this is an emergency and I need help.”  
_

_“Hello?”, Red yelled into the phone._

_“What’s your position?”_

“Red? Raymond?” Liz shook his arm.

  _“What’s your position?”_

 “Wake up, Raymond!”, she raised her voice. Cold drops of sweat formed on his forehead.

  _“What’s your position?”_

 Red opened his eyes and breathed heavily. He looked into Lizzie’s eyes when she touched his cheek hoping it would help him calm down.

 “You were having a nightmare.”, she said. “It’s okay now. It’s over.”

 Red nodded still trying to catch his breath, looking frantically around the room to regain his orientation. “I… It was...”

 “You don’t have to talk about it.”, Liz said and pulled him closer to give him comfort. “Come here! It’s okay. I’m here…. I’m here.”

 


	9. Follow You...

Through a little gap between the thick curtains of the bedroom that they shared the new day threw a warm sunbeam that lit up their faces. It was already noon but they were still in bed, tightly tucked in.

 “Good morning.”, Lizzie said when Raymond opened his eyes. She woke up an hour before him but didn’t want to leave the cosiness of the bed.

 “Morning.”, he said rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. They’ve only been on the run for a week but his hair was slowly but steadily getting long enough to look a little tousled in the morning.

 “I hope you slept better after that nightmare.”, she said.

 Red put on a forced smile. “It was alright. Thanks for waking me up though.”

 Lizzie sat up and grabbed the alarm clock on the nightstand beside her. “Holy f… It’s almost 1pm already. Do we have any plans for today?”

 Red sat up as well. He was still sleepy and squinted his eyes to have a look at the alarm clock himself. “No plans. We just have to kill time.”

 “Sounds boring. If I have to solve one more Sudoku, I swear…”

 “I fear that going out and showing your very famous face in public isn’t the best idea.”, Red said and stepped out of the bed.

 He was wearing grey boxer shorts and a navy blue t-shirt and even though Liz managed to focus on his eyes most of the time she occasionally sneaked a peek at his naked arms and legs when she thought he wouldn’t notice it. But he knew. He always knew when she looked at him that way.

 “I’m going to take a quick shower.”, he said and licked his lips. “And then I’ll run you a bath and in the meantime go out and do some shopping. I’ll find us some nice entertainment program for the day, okay? No Sudoku! I promise!”

 “Can we watch that movie you talked about?”, Liz asked while having a stretch and at the same time crawling back under the bedsheet. “The Chaplin movie where he eats his shoe.”

 Red giggled. “The Gold Rush. I’ll try to get a copy of that.” 

* * *

She was just climbing out of the bath with the skin on her palms and feet completely wrinkled when Red came back. “It’s me.”, he shouted from the kitchen.

 Liz grabbed a towel and wrapped herself in it, leaving a trace of water drops behind her when she entered the kitchen. “Did you get the movie?”

 Red looked up from the shopping bags in front of him and was caught between speechlessness and awe at the sight of her.

 “Red? The movie?”

 “Yes! Yes, I got it. And also... No. It’s gonna be a surprise. Why don’t you go back into the bathroom and dry yourself while I prepare everything? I’ll call you when I’m finished.”, he said and looked at her with a big smirk.

 She tilted her head to one side, long enough for her wet hair to leave a puddle on the kitchen floor, before she went back to the bathroom.

 After she finished blow drying her hair and getting dressed she heard him call her name from the living room. “Lizzie? You can come now… oh no. Actually. Wait!”

 She was already in the corridor when suddenly he stood in front of her. He had unbuttoned his vest, the sleeves of his shirt had been rolled up and his tie loosened which Lizzie thought was rather funny. She didn’t understand why he even dressed up on a day like this and then ended up making himself look more casual through the course of the day.  
  
“Close your eyes.”, he said.

 “What?”

 “It’s not a real surprise if I don’t tease you a little, Lizzie.”

 His plan was successful as Lizzie’s excitement was already painfully hard to endure. She closed her eyes and Red carefully led her towards the centre of the room by putting a hand on her back and tenderly pushing her forward. She could feel his breath tickling her neck and it made her nervous.

 “Okay, you can look now.”

 When Lizzie opened her eyes she needed a few seconds to process what she was seeing. Where once was the coffee table, Red had put blankets and pillows down. He had bought fruits and popcorn and a bottle of wine. Everything was neatly set up and all they needed to do was press play to start the movie.

 “I hope you like an indoor picnic.”, Red said in a tone that sounded surprisingly shy and insecure.

 Liz didn’t know what to say; she was too mesmerised by how much effort he had put into lighting up her day. The past week had been very emotional for both of them and Liz could use some distraction more than anything right now.

 “Do you like it?”

 “Oh my God. Are you kidding? I love it!” She made herself comfortable on the floor and gestured him to join her.

 Red sat down next to her and crossed his legs. “Shall I start the movie?”

 Liz nodded, took a handful of popcorn and placed the bowl between them. 

* * *

 

 “That was so wonderful. You didn’t tell me it was gonna be this emotional.”, Liz said when the movie was over.

 “That’s why I like it so much.” 

They were quite for a little while. Liz finished her glass of wine and gave herself and Red a refill, thereby emptying the bottle.

 She took another sip and then put the glass down in a secure distance. “Can I ask you something?” Liz’s voice sounded more serious now than before which Red didn’t like but he gestured her to ask away. “Last night… you’ve been saying names in your sleep. Your daughter’s mostly.”

 “What’s the question?”, Red asked with closed eyes.

 “Do you think about her a lot?” 

“Every day.” Red cleared his throat and looked at Lizzie. For a short moment he had hoped this answer would suffice but he saw in her eyes that it didn’t. He knew he had to open up to her. Show her just a little bit more of who he was even if it was painful for him.

 “A year after I left I tracked them down – Carla and Jennifer, I mean. That was the last time I saw her. She was playing in the garden and I was watching her from the other side of the road. I had the crazy idea to walk over and say hello… say sorry. But when I saw how happy she was I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to break her heart. Not again. I did when I left and I would have done so again if I had returned to their lives.”

 Liz’s eyes wandered from his lips to his hands. He tried to disguise their tremor by holding on to his knees but Lizzie recognised his behaviour when he was nervous.

 “There are so many questions, Lizzie. So many things I wanna know. Is she happy? What kind of books does she read? Does she like the same movies I do? Does she live alone? Or with a friend? Or a partner? Does she have a child?” He swallowed and kept his eyes fixed on the black TV screen because he couldn’t face the pity in Lizzie’s eyes. “But the most agonising question of all is… does she think about me as well? I mean… Does she even remember me? The person I used to be. Does she remember I once was her father before I turned into this… monster whose face she sees on the news over and over again?”

 Liz gently touched his cheek which made him turn around and look at her. He had successfully fought the tears up until now. “You’re not a monster, Raymond. You’ve left everything behind to help me. You… you’re a good man.”

 Red took a deep breath and allowed himself to feel the comfort that her touch and her words gave him. He leaned his head against her hand and couldn’t help but move a little bit closer to her to feel her warmth. There was still the half empty popcorn bowl between them and now it seemed to be very much in the way. When he looked up at her and his lips formed a smile Liz knew that this was a now-or-never moment. She put the bowl aside, tipping it over and scattering the popcorn everywhere. She didn’t even look at it for at the same time her hand wandered from his cheek to his neck and pulled him closer.

 When Red realised what she was doing he looked at her with wide open eyes but before he could say anything her lips were pressed on his. He thought about protesting, about telling her that she really shouldn’t be doing this, telling her that this can’t possibly be what she really wanted… but now that he knew what she tasted like, his desire was too strong. He realised that she didn’t need to be protected – she needed him and he needed her.


	10. ...Follow Me

They’ve been kissing for what seemed like an eternity and it felt so much better than either of them had imagined. It started out soft, almost shy; their lips were barely touching each other’s until Lizzie gathered to courage to get naughtier. Red had been rather coy mainly because he didn’t believe his luck but also because he felt more insecure than he usually was in situations like this.

She perched herself on top of him and opened her mouth a little waiting for him to do the same so her tongue could feel his. He buried his fingers in her hair and pressed her tightly against his chest, only ever interrupting the kiss when either of them needed to catch their breaths.

“Do you maybe want to go to the bedroom?”, Red asked while managing to barely take his lips off hers.

“No!”

“No? Oh… okay.”

 Liz pulled Red’s tie over his head and took his vest off which finally encouraged him to slide his hands underneath her blouse and open her bra. With his fingertips he tenderly stroked her back causing her to shiver under his touch. She took a break from the kiss because she wanted to look at him while she was unbuttoning his shirt. When she stripped it from his arms it revealed not as much as she hoped it would because Red was still wearing an undershirt.

“Are you kidding? How many layers of fabric am I supposed to get through?”, she said with a smile which made Red burst into laughter and resulted in both of them relaxing a little and feeling more comfortable. “You’re like one of those Russian dolls.”

He slowly opened the upper buttons of her blouse, just far enough so he could pull it over her head. She was wearing a simple black bra underneath which she took off right away. She watched him carefully as he gently and slowly kissed first her neck, then her collarbone and then her breasts.

He pulled her closer once again and looked her in the eyes. “Lizzie.”

“Yes?”

“I really don’t want to spoil the moment but… you didn’t by any chance think about bringing condoms with you?”

Liz froze for a moment and then she remembered what Madeline Pratt had said the day they arrived at the apartment. _“I made sure there are enough lady products in the bathroom in case you need some.”_

She jumped up from Red’s lap and ran to the bathroom, hoping that Pratt had been kind enough to think of that particular need as well.

"Have you really?”, Red shouted in disbelief.

Liz returned from the bathroom waving with the golden wrapped condom. “You have to thank your ex for that!”

“More than anything!”, he said with a big grin and gestured her to come back to him.

Before Liz walked over she unbuttoned her jeans and let them slide down to the floor which forced Red to sigh deeply and instinctively lick his lips. She sat down next to him and opened his belt and then the button of his trousers before she took the comfortable position on his lap where she had sat previously.

Liz gave him a passionate kiss whilst pulling his undershirt out of his trousers and over his head. At this point Red had nearly forgotten. For a moment he didn’t think of it but then, as she was beginning to slide her fingers down his back and then suddenly he noticed how she was hesitating, he remembered. He broke the kiss and looked her in the eyes, waiting for a reaction, _any_ reaction to the scars that covered his back.

Part of him expected her to be disgusted, to be reminded of whom he really was and she wouldn’t want to be with him anymore. But Liz just smiled and covered his neck in soft kisses and when she reached his earlobe she whispered: “Now take those pants off. All of them! God knows how many layers you’re wearing down there….”

She climbed off him and while he unzipped his trousers she slipped out of her panties. Now still being the only one completely nude she felt a bit shy and covered herself up a little.

“Really?”, Red asked knowing exactly what she was doing. “ _You_ don’t have to hide anything, Lizzie.”

Liz relaxed a little and nibbled on her lower lip. “Neither do you.”

He looked at her with a big smirk and took off his last bit of clothing – a pair of tight fit black boxer shorts. She spread her legs and leaned backwards as he came closer. He was resting between her legs and looked down at her, waiting for a moment to enjoy the sight of her sweet smile and her beautiful body and to reassure himself this was really happening. Then softly he began kissing her neck, her shoulders and arms, caressing her breasts, her stomach, her thighs before she finally pulled him down on top of her. To feel his weight, to feel his warmth, to feel him.

* * *

Liz rested her head on his chest and entwined her fingers with his carefully observing how his thumb caressed the back of her hand. Her eyes wandered to the scar on his chest. The bullet wound was still not completely healed and painfully reminded her of how she nearly lost him a few weeks ago. “Can I ask you something, Raymond?”

He looked down at her and she turned around now lying on her stomach to look directly at him. “Sure you can.”

“The scars...” Liz was insecure about how to phrase her curiosity. “…on your back…. Are they…”

“Yes.”, he interrupted her because he could tell by the tone of her voice that she was nervous so he wanted to make this conversation easier for her. “They’re from the fire. At least most of them are.”

She looked at him and tried not to express pity or sorrow but a part of her even felt guilty; like it was her fault he had to endure this much pain; like she had been unfair to him for not seeing his suffering before. But Red didn’t want her to feel like this. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and kissed her on the forehead. “You know what people say, right? Scars make people more interesting. And I have a lot of them. See this one?” He pointed at his knee. “Fell from my bicycle when I was 6.”

Liz giggled and bent over to give the inch long scar on his knee a kiss.

“And this one you must remember.”, he said touching his neck where Lizzie once punctured his carotid artery with a pen.

She pressed her lips together and looked at him sheepishly. “Yeah… truly sorry about that.”

“No, you’re not!”, he said shaking his head an laughing.

“Yes, you’re right. I’m not!”

Red opened his eyes and mouth in fake shock and threw a pillow at her. “Naughty! Wait till I get you, Elizabeth!” She jumped up making a squeaking noise and ran off into the corridor until he caught her and wrapped his arms around her. First holding her firmly then softening his grip and picking her up, wrapping her legs around his hips to carry her to the bedroom.

“You got me.”, Liz said when he laid her down on the bed. “Now what?”

“Now I’ll make you do that cute little squeaking noise again.”, he whispered in her ear before he bit her neck just strongly enough to leave a mark while he let his hand wander down her stomach and rest between her thighs. “Ready?”, he asked and peered at her with lustful eyes.

“More than ready.”


	11. What Kind of Man

Red opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling. He didn’t think of anything for the smallest part of a second – then he registered the weight of Lizzie’s arm on his chest; her head on his shoulder; her warm body pressed against his. He turned his head to look at her and softly caressed her hair. She was still asleep, breathing deeply, looking so carefree and peaceful that Red could almost pretend this was nothing but the normal morning of two perfectly ordinary people.

But this perfect moment was soon to be interrupted by a knocking on the door. Liz woke up instantly and reached for where she expected her gun to be. Red touched her arm and gestured her to be quiet and stay in bed. He took his gun from underneath his pillow and quickly put on his bathrobe.

He slowly walked towards the apartment door when he heard a key enter its lock. He drew his gun, released the safety and hid behind the door. It opened and he made a skilled move to grab the intruder in a head-lock, pushing the barrel of his gun against their back at the same time. All of this happened so quickly that he didn’t even recognise the blond hair his face was buried in now.

“Are you fucking insane?”, Madeline yelled at him when he let her go. “What the hell are you even still doing here?”

“I could ask _you_ the same question!”

In that moment Lizzie joined them, wearing her pyjama pants and one of Red’s dress shirts. “Oh, you can’t be serious!”, she said to Pratt and then gave Red an annoyed look before heading to the bathroom.

Madeline’s eyes followed Lizzie until she closed the bathroom door behind her. Then she eyed up Red with an open mouth and an impressed look. “So, the two of you then…? Like Bonnie and Clyde, is it? Hope you don’t end up like those two did.”

Red decided not to honour Madeline’s curiosity with an answer. He went to the living room instead which still held undeniable evidence of yesterday and its events.

Madeline followed him and fought the urge to comment on the state the room was him. She had been with Red before; she knew his respect for nice furniture ended where his love for beautiful women began. But something was different about him this time. She just couldn’t figure out what it was. No post-coital high, no cheeky remarks, no blissful reminiscence in this expression. Instead there was angst in Red’s eyes, more so than ever. She understood that he couldn’t use her sarcasm right now and only now she saw how much he was truly in need of her help.

“What do you have planned?”, she asked.

He shrugged his shoulder and emptied the glass of stale and lukewarm wine that had still been standing on the living room floor. “We’re going to fly to Norway. I know people there who can help us clear her name.”

“And how exactly are you going to get on a plane, Raymond?”

“I… I asked Robin to-”

“Robin?”, she interrupted with a high-pitched voice. “Oh come on.”

“What?”

“I’m not letting you board a plane that was organised by _Robin_. You’ll either end up drowning in the Atlantic or chained up in a prison cell before you can even get the chance to leave Canadian turf.”

Red cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the sour taste the wine and Madeline’s argument had left on his tongue. He knew she was probably right but he still had the undying need to have control over the situation; not to leave it into her hands to take care of everything.

“Red, don’t be silly! Pay Robin off so he’ll keep his mouth shut and then I’ll get you out of the country tonight.”

“Sounds reasonable.”, Liz said. She was leaning against the doorframe and had been listening to the whole conversation. “We’ll be forever grateful. Won’t we? Raymond?”

He sighed and nodded, incapable of saying anything.

“Okay. Pack your stuff and take care of Robin, I’ll see you tonight.”, Madeline said and left the two behind. They didn’t say goodbye.

Lizzie’s eyes were fixed on the man who was branded a dangerous criminal, a fugitive, a murderer; the same man who paced up and down the room now, trying to hold on to his sanity, fighting the anxiety arising within him. She walked over to him and touched his upper arm and he looked at her as if he wanted to apologise for not being stronger; he didn’t want her to see that he was afraid. But Lizzie was glad that finally he showed some vulnerability, it was just another step towards the goodness in him taking over.

* * *

It was close to midnight when Madeline returned. Red and Liz didn’t talk much during the day. He had been to Robin’s and paid him off to keep quiet and the rest of their time was spent waiting, packing their bags, having dinner and then again waiting.

Madeline drove them to a small airport far out of town. “My private jet is all yours.”, she said when they got out of the car. “I expect it back without a scratch. And don’t think I wouldn’t notice!”

Red took their luggage out of the trunk and gave it to pilot. There was no one else on the runway except them.

“Nice to see you again, Mr. Reddington.”, the pilot said.

“Yes… sure…” Red struggled but eventually he remembered. “…Francis! Nice to see you, too... I wished it was under other circumstances though.”

Madeline walked over to Lizzie and thought about giving her a hug but then she remembered that wasn’t really her style. She just reached out to shake her hand instead. “Take good care of him.”

“Trying to.”, Lizzie said and from the corner of her eye she could see Red taking a deep breath and rolling his eyes. She walked towards the boarding ramp and turned around on the first step to watch Red and Madeline.

His jaw twitched when he was trying to find the right words. “Maddie, I-”

“Don’t!”, Madeline said and put her hand on his arm.

“At least take the money.”

“How dare you suggest I’m only helping you to enrich myself? Shut up and leave!”

“Thank you. For everything.” He gave her a quick hug and turned his back on her, holding on to his hat that was about to fly away as the pilot started the engines. Lizzie walked up the stairs and he was just a few steps behind her when he turned around one last time to wave Madeline goodbye but she was already in her car, driving in the opposite direction.

* * *

“You’re awfully quiet.”, Liz said after two hours of flight. She had tried to take a nap but it was impossible for her to fall asleep.

“There were times you would tell me to shut up.” Red didn’t look at her, just took a sip from his glass of whiskey.

She shifted in her seat to be in his focus for she wanted him to look at her, she _needed_ him to look at her. “Why is it you’re this nervous all of a sudden?”

“I’ve been nervous all the time, Lizzie.”

“It didn’t show.”

Red’s mouth twitched and he downed his whisky, holding the empty glass in his hands and examining it to have a reason not to look at Lizzie.

“Damn it, Raymond!”, she said in an agitated tone and took the glass from him, putting it away. “Talk to me! You can’t just ignore what happened between us. Talk to me, please. Tell me what’s wrong. You know, I thought we were actually getting closer. I liked being… close.”

He sighed and leaned over resting his elbows on his thighs and took her hand. “I liked being close, too. But I’m afraid whatever that is between us it will eventually put you in danger.”

“The only way I’d be more in danger than I already am is if I were _not_ with you. Remember what I said the first night in the cabin? I didn’t regret running away with you.” She moved closer to him, their knees were already touching each other’s and their lips were only an inch apart. “I still don’t regret it.”, she said gently and placed a soft kiss on his lips.


	12. Absolute Beginners

Liz looked out of the plane window just after they landed and saw a single car parked on the runway. Its door opened and a man stepped out of it. “Is this Dembe?”, she said with an excited look on her face.

“I hope it is. If it’s not we should better take off again.”, Red bend over Liz to look out of the window himself. Dembe leaned against the car and nodded when Red waved at him through the window with a big smile.

They got out of the plane and Red – never letting go of Lizzie’s arm and therefore pulling her behind him – walked quickly over to Dembe and gave him a long hug. “How are you, Dembe?”

“Fine now that I see you’re both alive and well.”, Dembe answered and petted Lizzie on the shoulder.

“Don’t be silly.”, she said and gave him a hug. “It’s good to see you, too.”

They quickly got inside the car, Red and Lizzie were both on the backseat and Dembe drove them to a house in a rural area just outside Oslo. During the hour long journey Dembe gave them the most important information but he could see in the rear view mirror that both Red and Lizzie were exhausted.

“What a lovely place.”, Red said when they entered the house. It was small but very cosy with a fire place in the middle of the living room and a kitchen with a dining table just big enough for the three of them to have dinner together.

Red put down his luggage when he saw the familiar grey and brown fur scurrying towards him. “Mr. Catington? Oh dear.” He got on his knees and picked up his cat and petted him as if he never petted him before. “I can’t believe you brought him with you.”, Red said looking up at Dembe. “I missed you, you little sharp-clawed bastard!” He gave the cat a smack on the head and let him go.

“Dembe, I would love to talk things through but Elizabeth and I didn’t get much sleep on the flight. I think we should call it a day.”

“Sure. There are two bedrooms for the two of you. I’ll sleep on the sofa.”, Dembe said. Lizzie was already on the first step on her way upstairs and stopped to glance at Red who tilted his head and turned to Dembe in one slick movement.

“I don’t think that’s going to be necessary to be honest.”, Red said.

“You can have the second bedroom.”, Lizzie added and turned around to go upstairs and check out the upper floor.

Dembe didn’t understand. “What do you mean?” He looked at Red with a confused look on his face until it finally clicked. “Oh, you mean…? Oh.”

Red smiled. “Coming to think of it, maybe the sofa is still a better choice for you.”, he picked up his suitcases and followed Lizzie upstairs. “These walls don’t appear to be very thick.”, he said – more to himself than to Dembe – while knocking on the wall on his way up.

* * *

Red walked downstairs in his bathrobe, rubbing his eyes as Mr. Catington snuggled up against his legs which made walking forward without falling over and waking everyone up a lot more difficult. It was very early in the morning and Dembe and Lizzie were still asleep but Red felt too fidgety to stay in bed.

He made himself a cup of tea, wrapped up in a blanket and sat down on the front porch watching the sun rise. Mr. Catington curled up on his lap and Red couldn’t help but feel happy, for the first time in ages he _allowed_ himself to be happy and carefree. He knew that the carefreeness would only stick around for a couple of hours, days maybe, but the happiness – that one would last as long as she was with him.

He heard the creaking of the wooden floor and soon after saw Liz standing next to him. She leaned against the door frame and smiled at him, folding her arms to keep her warm. As soon as Mr. Catington saw her he jumped off Red’s lap and hurried inside.

“Seems he doesn’t like me that much.”, Liz mumbled with a yawn, looking at the cat that now carefully observed her every movement from inside the house.

“He just needs to get used to you. Last time he saw you, you were kind of… agitated.”

Liz gave Red a grin and took a sip from his cup of tea that stood on the windowsill. She kept her eyes fixed on him as he closed his and took a deep breath of fresh air. The house was so remote that they couldn’t see any other buildings, but a lake instead and the forest adjacent to the back of the house. It was nearly too idyllic to be true and to see Red actually enjoying the peace and quiet made Lizzie feel like all the decisions she’s made ever since she met him – all the decisions she had been doubting more than once – have in fact been right. They all led up to this moment and it felt like this was exactly where she was meant to be now.

“Come here.”, he said gesturing her to sit down next to him.

“I was actually thinking about taking a shower.”

“Oh. Of course. I’ll prepare some breakfast then. I’m assuming you must be hungry.”

“Or you could shower with me.”, she said and drank the rest of his tea, putting the cup back on the windowsill before she went inside leaving Red behind.

“What…. I mean… wait!”, he said he followed her.

They stepped into the bathtub and Liz drew the shower curtain as he turned the tap on causing both of them to instantly jump up and squeak when the water poured down on them – it was a lot colder than expected.

Just as they recovered from the shock and the water got a little warmer, Dembe knocked frantically at the bathroom door. “Are you okay? Elizabeth?”

“She’s fine.”, Red answered. “And so am I. Just in case you were worrying about me, too.”

Lizzie suppressed her giggle by pressing her lips against Red’s chest. She looked up at him, water running down her face as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling his wet body closer to hers and kissing him passionately.

He wiped a strand of hair out of her face and kissed her cheek, slowly wandering down her neck turning the kisses into soft bites.

“You taste nice, Lizzie.”, he whispered in her ear and then got down on his knees, holding on to her hips for support.

“Do I?”, she asked with one hand against the bathroom wall and the other on Red’s shoulder knowing that what was about to happen would leave her too weak in the knees to stand steadily on her own.

“Delicious.”, he mumbled – nearly inaudible over the sound of the running water and Lizzie’s groaning – as he buried his face between her thighs.

She gasped for air delving her fingernails into his shoulder when her legs eventually crumbled and Red wrapped his arms around her hips, holding her tightly so she wouldn’t fall over as the shivers began running up and down her body, rendering her dizzy with pleasure.

He looked up at her and gave her a cheeky smile. “Good morning, Lizzie.”

“Good morning.”, she said out of breath, washing the sweat off her forehead. “Can we start every day like this from now on?”

“Anything to make you happy, my dear.”, Red said standing up and kissing his Lizzie. He resisted the urge to confess his love knowing it was too early for that. But time would come eventually.

 

The End. (…as for now.)


End file.
